Strength in Surrender: Finding Rest in the Middle of Hard
It’s nearing the end of another long day, and weary in body and soul, I stumble through my night-time routine. As I brush my teeth, my mind traces back through the day and what I’ve accomplished, which, judging by how fatigued l am, must have been a lot, though I’m coming up short trying to recall much that seems noteworthy.
I grab my pajamas, but before I can head to the shower, I toss them down again because one of my children, who transforms into a tireless jack-in-the-box at bedtime, is out of his room again. I guide him back towards his bed, thankful that the other children are sleeping soundly and praying that everyone will sleep through the night, including my youngest, whose internal clock sometimes tells him that 4 AM is a grand time to start the day.
Later, as I make the last rounds, popping my head into each room, I’m relieved to hear the welcome sound of soft snores. Finally, I tuck myself into bed, sure I’ll fall asleep quickly. But my mind betrays me, and my thoughts begin swirling, keeping me wide awake. “I don’t like this, Lord. It’s too hard. This isn’t what I signed up for. I’m not sure I can get out of bed tomorrow and do this all over again. The load is too heavy.”
My body is tired, yet my soul is restless.
As much as I crave physical rest, my desire for a soul-deep rest is even greater. I need to experience what Jesus meant when He said His yoke is easy and His burden light.
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“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
I’m in a season where I’m carrying some heavy burdens, particularly related to the high needs of my children, who, between the four of them, have multiple special needs and lifelong medical conditions. To put it bluntly, I am weary. Physically, yes, but emotionally and spiritually, too. So, when it came time to choose a word for this year, a practice I’ve been doing for several years, I quickly settled on the word rest. I knew this needed to be my focus this year.
But I have questions. What does it actually mean to rest? What does a restful life look like? Sure, a vacation (or even a nap!) sounds refreshing, but that is short-lived and not always possible. What if the burdens I’m carrying cannot be set aside?
As I’ve been wrestling through the concept of rest and what it looks like in everyday life, I’ve been reminded that rest always requires surrender. For instance:
To fall asleep at night, I must surrender to a vulnerable, trusting state (which is why worry and fear will keep me awake).
To rest on a weekly day of sabbath, I must surrender my desire to always be efficient and productive.
To rest from attempting to work for my salvation, I must surrender in faith, trusting that Jesus has completed the work of redemption through His death, burial, and resurrection, and there is nothing left for me to do but gladly accept His provision for me.
And, if I am going to find daily rest from the angst and unrest chafing in my soul, I must surrender to God’s will for my life at this time and what He has chosen to give – or withhold – from me.
Surrender. That is at the heart of Jesus’s twofold call to come to Him and rest. When we answer His call to salvation, we surrender from laboring for our own righteousness, all the while bearing the heavy load of our sin. And when we answer His call to take up His yoke and learn from Him, we surrender to a life of discipleship. It is in this surrender that we find rest for our souls.1
Finding rest for one’s soul is not about discovering a tranquil life free from burdens, grief, or hardship. Both Scripture and our own experiences attest to this fact. Rather, it is about joining together with Christ in the burden we are meant to carry. Unlike the impossibly heavy load of sin and self-righteousness, this “yoke is easy” and “burden light” not because they are insignificant but because we do not bear them alone.
I must admit, though, that some of what I have been given to carry in life has not felt very “light” or “easy” (the word translated here as “easy” can also be translated as “kind,” “pleasant,” “gracious,” or “good” – also not words that describe how my burdens usually feel.) And it’s not just me – all of us live with hard, heavy things – situations like a complex medical diagnosis, a child’s special needs and disabilities, infertility, or prolonged singleness are just a few examples. Living in this broken, fallen world with its relationship issues, financial strain, and Murphy’s Law can sometimes feel crushing. Crushing and thorny.
One of the greatest heroes of the Christian faith, the Apostle Paul, experienced this reality. Throughout his lifetime, he faced many extreme trials, things most of us have never had to suffer: cruel beatings, long imprisonments, and multiple shipwrecks. But he also endured something he called his “thorn in the flesh.” He wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:7,
“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.”
We don’t know precisely what Paul was referring to as his “thorn in the flesh,” but it was doubtless uncomfortable, even painful. Something that his life would be much more enjoyable without.
“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.” (verse 8).
Paul begged God to remove the thorn, not once, not twice, but three times. But rather than removing the thorn, God gave Paul something instead:
“And he said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (verse 9).
Instead of receiving a “yes” to his request for a reprieve from his difficulty, Paul received a promise for sufficient grace and strength made perfect in weakness. And as Paul surrendered to God’s will for his life, he was able to say with a heart at rest:
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (verse 10)
God chose not to remove this particular burden from Paul’s life, but he was not crushed under its weight. Instead, he discovered the paradoxical truth that when he was at his weakest, it was then that he could be strongest in the Lord. When his strength was spent, he was at precisely the right place to experience the power of God working in and through him. When he accepted that God was not going to remove the thorn, he was also able to accept the amazing, sustaining grace of the Lord.
This same sufficient grace is available to you and me. But to experience God’s grace at its fullest, we must surrender to what He has chosen for us with a heart that says, “Not my will, but Thine be done.” Surrender comes when we cease fighting against our “infirmities” – the things that make us feel weary and weak – and start rejoicing in them instead, not because they are good in and of themselves, but because of the good work the Lord is accomplishing in us through them.
Surrender comes when we cease fighting against our “infirmities” – the things that make us feel weary and weak – and start rejoicing in them instead, not because they are good in and of themselves, but because of the good work the Lord is accomplishing in us through them.
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Surrender requires humility, which is the very trait that qualifies us to receive God’s grace. James 4:6 says, “God resists the proud, but gives graces to the humble.” Humility does not come naturally to any of us, but if we let them, the hardships we face can bring about a beautiful work in our lives that nothing else can, for when we acknowledge our insufficiency, we are in the right place to experience the glorious sufficiency of Christ.
Remember that part of Jesus’s call to come to Him for rest includes the command to “learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart.” The word “lowly” is the same Greek word translated as “humble” in James 4:6. As I come to Jesus and learn from Him, the One who “humbled Himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:8), I can rest in knowing that the yoke He chooses for me is chosen in love. More than that, He will never leave me to carry it alone but will be with me, teaching me how to faithfully and joyfully fulfill my calling.
Dear friend, come to Jesus. Surrender to the yoke He has designed for you. Learn humility from the One Who willingly went to the cross on your behalf. Lean into His strength and receive the grace promised you to continue on in the work He has given you to do. When you do, you will find rest for your weary soul. “Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
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Another day has come and gone, a day full of both blessings and challenges. Now, the house is quiet as I make my way towards bed. My body is tired, but by God’s grace, my soul is not restless. Tonight, instead of letting frustration, anxiety, and defeat rule in my heart, I am choosing to reframe my thinking:
Instead of “Why me?” I ask, “What are you teaching me, Lord?”
Rather than stating, “This is too hard!” I declare, “With God, nothing is impossible.”
Though my strength is all but spent, and I know tomorrow will require more than I have to give, I humbly come to Jesus and ask for His promised grace and strength. And in His goodness and love, He gives me all that I need.
Peace comes then as I relinquish my demands, fears, and inabilities to the Lord. As I let go of what is not mine to carry and accept what is, His grace flows in, and I surrender to rest.
“He Giveth More Grace” By Annie Johnson Flint
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength when the labors increase; To added afflictions He addeth His mercy, To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance, When our strength has failed ere the day is half done, When we reach the end of our hoarded resources Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision, Our God ever yearns His resources to share; Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing; The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure, His power no boundary known unto men; For out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
There’s something we need to understand about ancient farming practices to grasp what Jesus was saying in Matthew 11:28-30. In our modern culture and farming practices, we no longer use yoked oxen for working fields. In Jesus’s day, however, everyone was familiar with the imagry Jesus used of a pair of animals joined together by a carved wooden beam. Once yoked together, the animals worked in tandem to haul loads that would have been too heavy to have been pulled by one ox alone. ↩︎
